Scarred Not Broken!
4.10.18
My life has not lacked its share of challenges. As I mentioned before, I was diagnosed with Osteopetrosis- a very rare bone disorder. As a result, I have undergone several surgeries, all of which have left me with visible scars.
If I dare to be completely honest with you, my scars have always bothered me. On top of worrying about ALL the other frivolous things a young lady has to worry about like making sure our hair looks nice and our cell phones being fully charged (lol), I’m doing length checks on dresses, rompers, and shorts to make sure my scars are covered just right. Crazy, I know! It is such a hassle sometimes trying to cover up so people don’t notice my “flaws”, and let me tell you, these “people” aren’t putting a penny toward my wardrobe!
But I digress.
I have finally reached a point where people’s opinions do not matter as much. The older I get, the more confident I become with who I am. Although I’m still a little self-conscious, I realize that my scars are just reminders of what God has brought me through. I call them my war wounds, as they symbolize every battle I have fought and won.
Had I listened to comments like, “you need to fix your clothes to cover your scars”, I would be walking around dressed from head to toe! If you are the least bit familiar with Texas, you KNOW that ain’t gonna happen with its bipolar weather. I would rather confine myself to the house before dressing up for winter every day of my life.
On a serious note, the physical scars take a back seat in my mind when considering the internal ones, which hurt just as bad. At times, they can even be harder to live with. Internal scars are a constant reminder of everything I’ve gone through. No matter how frustrating, physical scars CAN be covered…negative thoughts and memories, not so much. It doesn’t take much for an insensitive comment to bring me back to a place of sadness, loneliness, and insecurity. What I’ve come to realize, though, is that I don’t have to remain in that place! Combatting those negative thoughts with positive self-talk and staying in close communication with God, through prayer, are tactics that keep me upbeat and in love with my outer shell. Every day I challenge myself to remember that I may be scarred, but I’m most definitely not broken.